Movie Two Hundred Six
Piranha has, what else, piranhas attacking a lake during spring break.
A fisherman (played by Richard Dreyfuss in a glaring Jaws homage) on Lake Victoria is disturbed by an earthquake that unleashes whirlpool and a prehistoric relative of the piranha who promptly tear him to shreds. Spring break on the lake is ramping up as the piranha continue to eat everyone they can. Throw in a parody of Girls Gone Wild and as much T&A as possible, oh and some scientists…I mean, who else is going to stop these piranhas?! So it’s up to the sheriff (Elizabeth Shue) and seismology expert (Adam Scott) to save the day. *note: the plot synopsis on Wikipedia is WAY too long for a movie like this*
I’m not above movies like Piranha (aka Piranha 3D, apparently), but I also kind of hate that movies like this exist and people pay money to see them. Poor Richard Dreyfuss, who looks terrible by the way, does he need a paycheck that badly? It’s not that I hated the film, I was expecting stupid and Piranha certainly delivers stupid but it also delivers nudity, violence, and even a few laughs. It’s a dumb movie that knows it’s a dumb movie and has a bit of fun but it’s also pointless. I’ll also say that I was shocked that no extras were killed during the massacre in the finale. I was really expecting a spring breaker to fall and kill themselves or get run over by a boat or something.
Reasons to see Piranha:
- You like seeing nudity and don’t realize the Internet exists
- You like horrible CGI fish
- You like CGI penises (IN 3D!!!) being eaten by fish
- You like cameos from Richard Dreyfuss and Christopher Lloyd
- You want to see every actor in a film totally phoning it in
- You like spring break on falsified lakes
- You’ve always wondered just how annoying Jerry O’Connell can be
- You like saying “piranha”
Yeah, that’s about all I can come up with.
I give it 2 mangled leg effects (warning, kind of graphic) out of 5.
Links:
As silly and stupid as you can get with a B-movie, but that’s the whole fun of it. That beach scene where the pirahna’s actually come out and eat everybody up is slick, bloody, but also the best part of the movie. Aside from Jerry O’Connell’s coked-up playboy character. Nice review Andy.
I had a blast during the finale – partly because Jerry O’Connell wasn’t there
Thanks!
I loved it! Not only did O’Connell get the business but so did Eli Roth! (and Kelly Brooke – hello!!!)
I had forgotten about Eli Roth hahaha
I really enjoyed this movie, as its tone was perfectly tongue-in-cheek and knew exactly what things it was parodying and how to gleefully exploit the elements. I am always entertained by Elizabeth Shue, and I think she was having fun with her role. It was also great seeing her together with Christopher Lloyd again, though it would’ve been nice to have a “Back to the Future” reference thrown in for good measure. The point of the movie is just pure entertainment and nothing else, which it delivers. Unfortunately, they made a sequel which by all indication completely misses the point of what this movie did.
While it’s not terrific, I really enjoyed this movie. Piranha 3DD however, is an absolute piece of shit and needs to burn.
Also, congrats on finally becoming a LAMB!!!
I will be avoiding 3DD…
Oh, I didn’t even realize! Thanks for letting me know, Nick!
I have to admit that I only ‘half-watched’ this film so much so in fact that I missed that Dreyfuss was even in it! I definitely agree its not the best film in the world and I’ve got to say I liked the original better. Great review as always dude! 🙂
It’s been so long since I’ve seen the original but I had a lot of fun with that one. Thanks!
No worries! 🙂
The original ‘Piranha’ came out in 1978 and was directed by Joe Dante who later went on to do ‘The Howling’ and ‘Gremlins’. I saw that movie 25 years ago and remember the special effects were cheesy. This movie intrigues me a little because for some reason I like the idea of Elizabeth Shue playing a sheriff.
I didn’t see it, mostly because I’m not a fan of overly graphic B movies, but it looked really, really terrible. I can’t remember the last time Richard Dreyfus was in a good movie. Nice review.
I enjoyed this movie. It is generally campy but the kills are gruesome, so much so that the scene in which the piranhas attack the kids on Spring Break is genuinely horrifying, if in a stomach churning kind of way. I want to see the sequel, but I just took a look at the ratings it’s gotten and they’re terrible. I’ll probably see it for the masochistic pleasure of watching a bad film, rather than any hope that it will match the humor or horror of its predecessor.
I loved this movie! I knew it was going to be pointless and brainless when I went into the theater to watch it. Sometimes I just need to watch a movie for the pure dumb fun of it.
Although I did end up reviewing it at a later date. 🙂
Jerry O’Connell promoted the hell out of this on Howard Stern.
I movie like this should be from the 70’s like the original.
Thanks for the review.
I did enjoy it a lot though… even the wifey did, and she usually hates these dumb movies. It was just brainless fun, really. I hate it when movies take themselves too seriously without the actual substance to back it up, and I hate it when they just go full out to be dumb – this was a nice in between.
If it had taken itself more seriously it would have been a disaster. Dumb fun movies are good every once in awhile.
Can’t say I’ve had any interest in this, except possibly as Morbid Curiosity Files fodder. Your review is about where I expected it to be. Loved the top ten list that couldn’t quite make it to ten, also. 😀
Haha yeah, I stopped caring at 7 and said “forget it”
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Great review first of all. I actually really liked this one when I saw it in 3D in the theater, a lot of fun. I haven’t seen it at home in 2D, but i could see where this one wouldn’t play as well without the 3D attached to it.
Yeah, I could see that. It was still fun but I think the theatrical experience would have really helped.
All I have to say is 3D boobs. Awesome.
Rofl
Yep.
Nice review. Loved “Reasons to see Piranha” 🙂
hahahahaha! I got a kick out of this flick! And I do love saying piranha!
“1.You like seeing nudity and don’t realize the Internet exists”—that cracked me up!
Haha good – I had a lot of fun writing this one up
lol, I can understand why you liked writing this one. I completely agree with the comment about people who see movies like this for the nudity apparently forgetting that there is an internet… you don’t have to pay 10$ to see boobs anymore
Haha yeah
Oh, and thanks!
Don’t hate that movies like this exist. Hate the fact that Piranha 3DD exists. Now that was awful. Great review, and I watched this movie for most of the reasons you gave 🙂
Haha, I will be avoiding 3DD. To be perfectly frank, I watched it for those reasons too, basically.
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Great post. I hope to watch these some time to see what I think of it (translate:watch Kelly Brook)
Watching Kelly Brook is fairly magical, I will attest.
Agreed:)
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