Assassination (12/15/12)

AssassinationMovie Two Hundred Eighty Two

A Secret Service agent must protect repeated attempts on the First Lady’s life in Assassination.

Jay “Killy” Killion (Charles Bronson), a Secret Service member coming back from sick leave is assigned to the newly inaugurated First Lady, Lara Royce Craig (Jill Ireland). Lara is condescending and unappreciative of Killy does not make things easy on him. Lara acts like a spoiled brat, constantly undermining him and insisting on the uselessness of his protection until several assassination attempts are made on her life and she begins to understand the Killion is the right man for the job of protecting her life.

I’m sure I’ve said this before, but I freaking love Charles Bronson. To me, there are no bad Charles Bronson movies, there are simply Charles Bronson movies. Still, I am not immune to recognizing the flaws in some of these films and Assassination is definitely not one I would recommend freely. Of course, we do have Charles Bronson being a total badass, but by this point in his career, he had better, more memorable roles as a badass.

Jill Ireland, Bronson’s wife in real life until her death, either annoys me or makes me swoon and unfortunately, her character in Assassination is meant to be irritating and she pulls it off almost too well. I wanted her character to actually get killed pretty early on in Assassination because Charles Bronson can be a badass with or without her in the movie. Still, I love that Bronson and Ireland worked together so often and there’s something to be said to see them both onscreen, regardless of how annoying she can be.

Assassination has everything one would expect from a Charles Bronson movie – guns, violence, and an awesome mustache. The fact that Bronson’s character is called “Killy” really shows that the screenwriters wanted little more from the film than Charles Bronson killing people, I think. While Assassination isn’t high up on my favorite Bronson films, it does the job.

I give it 3 videos of the best scene of Assassination out of 5.

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Cold Sweat [1970] (7/8/12)

Movie One Hundred Sixty One

In Cold Sweat, a man’s new life falls apart when he is visited by a man from his past and has to protect his wife and daughter.

Joe Martin (Charles Bronson) lives in France with his wife, Fabienne (Liv Ullman) and young daughter. One day, he comes home and receives a strange call. Shortly after, a group of men break into the house and we find out the Joe Martin’s real name is Moran and he is was in the army and an ex-con. The group of men used to work with him, but ended up going to jail and have been holding a grudge. When the men kidnap Fabienne and their daughter, it’s up to Joe to get them back and exact his revenge.

I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned this before, but I love Charles Bronson. He’s not the greatest actor ever, but there’s something about him that simply mesmerizes me while he’s on screen and he’s just such a badass all the time. It must get exhausting being that awesome. In Cold Sweat, Bronson is just playing a vengeful father that he would perfect in his 1974 outing, Death Wish.

Cold Sweat itself starts off pretty strong and then gets lost in its own plot and tries to focus on things that aren’t important instead of just giving us some action, car chases and great Bronson badassery. The car chases alone are almost worth watching the whole movie, actually. While they aren’t some of the greatest chases in cinematic history, they may be the best thing about this film. Sometimes it’s fun to just turn off your brain and watch a kinda-sorta cheesy action movie and Cold Sweat fits the bill. As far as Charles Bronson movies go, if you’re a fan like me, it’s not too shabby, but without Bronson, this movie would be no fun.

I give it 3 Charles Bronson (the hardcore band) set to the best parts of Cold Sweats out of 5.

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