Mallrats (11/10/12) – Nostalgiathon

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Movie Two Hundred Fifty Seven

In Mallrats, after being dumped by both of their girlfriends, two friends head to the mall.

TS Quint (Jeremy London) and his girlfriend, Brandi Svenning (Claire Forlani) are about to head to Universal Studios where TS plans to propose when Jaws pops out of the water. Instead, Brandi has agreed to be on her father’s game show, “Truth or Date”, and breaks up with TS. Meanwhile, Brodie (Jason Lee) gets dumped by his girlfriend, Rene (Shannen Doherty) for being too juvenile. The two friends meet up and Brodie decides they should go to the mall for solace. At the mall, they discover that “Truth or Date” will be filming there later and they ask Jay (Jason Mewes) and Silent Bob (Kevin Smith) to ruin the stage in an effort to win Brandi back.

Throughout my freshman and sophomore years of high school, Mallrats was practically on a repeating loop so I have decided it was perfect to cover for Nostalgiathon. The dialogue was reenacted countless times and entire scenes could be staged at the drop of a hat. Mallrats had everything a teenager could ask for – comedy, action, romance, magic-eye posters, sex, comic books, NHL All Star Hockey, etc. Mallrats not only delivers on all those fronts but everything Jason Lee says in the film is pretty much Oscar-worthy… OK maybe that’s going too far.

In high school I was only on the cusp of being a movie nerd but I did notice some Mallrats deficiencies. Even though nearly every line feels like it was written down and spoken, if that makes sense. Kevin Smith is a talented writer and comes up with great dialogue, but in Mallrats, it feels very scripted. Also, Jeremy London bugs the hell out of me, he always has. Even though Smith is lauded as a great director, his work lately has not been so hot and I think he has a talent, but his direction in Mallrats is nothing spectacular. Still, Smith knows his audience for Mallrats and delivers on all the dick jokes you could want.

Mallrats is easily my favorite Kevin Smith movie and it probably always will be. It hasn’t aged particularly well, it has a very mid-90s vibe to it. Plus, who remembers chubby Ben Affleck these days? I likely won’t be watching Mallrats again anytime soon, but it was nice to be able to watch it and still be able to mime the dialogue in my head as the movie played out.

I give it 4 “it’s not a schooner, it’s a sailboat”s out of 5.

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