Piranha has, what else, piranhas attacking a lake during spring break.
A fisherman (played by Richard Dreyfuss in a glaring Jaws homage) on Lake Victoria is disturbed by an earthquake that unleashes whirlpool and a prehistoric relative of the piranha who promptly tear him to shreds. Spring break on the lake is ramping up as the piranha continue to eat everyone they can. Throw in a parody of Girls Gone Wild and as much T&A as possible, oh and some scientists…I mean, who else is going to stop these piranhas?! So it’s up to the sheriff (Elizabeth Shue) and seismology expert (Adam Scott) to save the day. *note: the plot synopsis on Wikipedia is WAY too long for a movie like this*
I’m not above movies like Piranha (aka Piranha 3D, apparently), but I also kind of hate that movies like this exist and people pay money to see them. Poor Richard Dreyfuss, who looks terrible by the way, does he need a paycheck that badly? It’s not that I hated the film, I was expecting stupid and Piranha certainly delivers stupid but it also delivers nudity, violence, and even a few laughs. It’s a dumb movie that knows it’s a dumb movie and has a bit of fun but it’s also pointless. I’ll also say that I was shocked that no extras were killed during the massacre in the finale. I was really expecting a spring breaker to fall and kill themselves or get run over by a boat or something.
Reasons to see Piranha:
- You like seeing nudity and don’t realize the Internet exists
- You like horrible CGI fish
- You like CGI penises (IN 3D!!!) being eaten by fish
- You like cameos from Richard Dreyfuss and Christopher Lloyd
- You want to see every actor in a film totally phoning it in
- You like spring break on falsified lakes
- You’ve always wondered just how annoying Jerry O’Connell can be
- You like saying “piranha”
Yeah, that’s about all I can come up with.
I give it 2 mangled leg effects (warning, kind of graphic) out of 5.